Naruto Uzumaki: King of Pranks
by BlackRoseOfTheGrave
Summary: Tired of the pain, rejection and sadness piled upon him by the people of Konoha, Naruto strives to prove that he will become Hokage through rather unorthodox methods. The intricate arts of stealth and strategic knowledge. Pairing unknown for now.
1. A Hokage's Death and a Child's Beginning

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters used. **

**This is a very random fic that appeared in my head as I was, believe it or not, in the shower. I have no idea where it came from; it just sort of hit me! SHABAM! Well, I have no idea who I want for the pairing as of now, but at the bottom of the second chapter, I'll have a small poll. This can be a yaoi, shonen-ai or any other type of mix of pairings. I won't do a harem with more than two boys or girls plus Naruto. Depending on what people decide, the rating may go up to M. Um, well, I have nothing left to say. Oh, like many of my other stories, this will have a poem in it near the end of the second chapter. Enjoy!**

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Prologue: A Hokage's Death and a Child's Beginning

Six years ago, on the night of October tenth, Kushina Uzumaki, the last of a great clan that hailed from Uzu no Kuni, gave birth to a baby boy with sapphire-like eyes and a small puff of golden hair upon his tiny head. The proud father, Minato Namikaze, the Yondaime or Fourth Hokage, was happier than any could be on that night.

With joy in their hearts, and smiles on their faces, it came as a sudden shock to both of them when Kushina began to go into cardiac arrest from her prolonged birth of nearly twenty hours. With little strength left in her body to continue fighting, she passed away, leaving a heartbroken father and a motherless son behind. Weeping in grief, Minato became even more distressed when news of the great fox demon, Kyuubi no Kitsune came rampaging through the first lines of defense, only a mile away from the village. With tails that, when shook, landslides and tsunamis would be the result. Minato knew that he would have to stop the giant beast soon or else thousand upon thousands of people would die. Using his slight knowledge of demons to help him think up a plan, he came to the conclusion that the demon couldn't be defeated by human hands alone, and that he would require the help of a deity.

Being an expert on Fuuinjutsu, or the art of seal making, he quickly realized that sealing the fox would be a better option. A spirit made only of youkai or demonic chakra, could not be killed because over time the mass could rebuild itself. Knowing that his own body would not suffice for the sealing, he chose to make the hardest decision of his rather short life. He decided that the best option would be to seal the beast into his newly borne son because his chakra coils had not yet begun to grow, and they could stretch to accommodate the extra energy as he grew and the coils expanded.

Quickly summoning the Toad boss, Gamabunta, he sped off into the night with a heavy heart and his child placed on a cushion in a sealing room. As his warty friend fought the giant beast, he himself began the long chain of seals needed to summon one of the strongest deities, Shinigami, to help his seal the fox's energy into the baby. As the chain of hand signs came to a stop, he whispered the technique into the air and watched as the fox began to fade away into nothingness.

As the darkness closed around him, and his body began to fall to the ground, over fifty meters from where he was standing, only one thought entered his head as he closed his eyes for the final time and allowed a slight smile to cross his lips. _'Good-bye, Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto. Make me proud.'_

The next day the village crowded around the Hokage tower dressed all in black and mourning robes. The newly reinstated, Sandaime Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, walked to the front of the balcony holding a cooing baby in his arms. He announced that though their Hokage had died, his legacy would be continued. He held up the baby for all to see and showed the biased villagers and shinobi the boy, hoping that they would accept his as a child, not the demon he held at bay within his fragile body. The reaction he got was not expected, as hundreds of people within the crowd began to call for the child's death. Quickly taking the child into the tower, he placed him in a crib and whispered to himself, _'Oh, child. These next years will be hard for you. I will not be able to help you in any way as I'm sure the council is just as biased as the fools outside this building. Please stay strong.' _

Sure enough, the next day when Sarutobi went to the council about the boy, it was a unanimous decision that the only thing that old Hokage would be able to do, would be to provide monthly stipends once the boy became old enough to know how to spend money.  
With no other choice available to him, the old man sent the child to the orphanage, hoping for the best. Little did he know that the boy would learn two lessons about life inside his small closet room. Life would be a hell for him until he could take care of himself and that a mask of idiocy would be the safest way to protect himself.

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**Okay, remember, this is a prologue. I am not big on long chapters, but even I usually write longer ones than this. I have the next chappie in the waiting, so just read this and at least tell me what you think of my style of writing. I wrote the prologue in first person to tell people the bare minimum about the storyline, so don't get all pissy with me in your reviews. Thank you!**


	2. Hope for the future or a Painful Death?

**Well, here it is, as promised. Know that I won't be making such quick updates now that finals are approaching with an ominous aura about them… Moving along, the poll is at the bottom. Please vote for only two of the choices and you can make your own suggestions. For those of you who are against shonen-ai, I am writing another story similar to this one but with a straight pairing instead. Capiche? Okay, enjoy chapter one. **

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Chapter One: Hope for the Future or a Painful Way to Die?

Pain, hatred, regret, anger, frustration, confusion and sadness all jumbled about in the mind of a small boy crouching beneath the long, drooping branches of an old sakura tree. Its beautiful, lively blossoms in shades of blood red, pure white and blushing pink were of a stark difference compared to the child's appearance.

His huddled form was pitifully small with his baggy clothing hanging loosely from his frail arms and legs. A large pair of black shorts, long enough to be pants, hung from his bony hipbones. The once-white shirt now lay against his bony ribs and chest, tattered and dirty, covered in mud and old blood stains. His feet were covered only in strips of dirty clothe that had been salvaged from a dumpster and they were cracked and unsupportive of his weight, however light it may have been. His once sparkling, cerulean eyes, no longer shimmered in life. They held a sad tone with a lifeless glint to them. His six whisker marks stood out apart from his sunken cheeks and his slightly plump lips were a gray color that practically reeked of malnutrition.

Many people who would have seen this boy would have stood in shock and anger at what a six year old boy could look like. From all the visitors to the village of Konoha, it seemed like a wonderful place with awe-inspiring dusks and breathtaking dawns to attract tourists to its domineering presence. As the strongest of the five great villages, Konohagakure had its reputation to uphold, and if it meant shunning an innocent child from society, so be it. For the people of Konoha, this child was a plague, a nuisance, a _freak_. Only to very few people was he known as Naruto Uzumaki. Yes, the child had never been told of his parents or his tenant for fear that he might snap and release the demon that he was so bravely holding back. As he slowly uncurled his arms from the top of his legs, he started to mumble something under his breath.

"Why?" Naruto began to shake and shiver, his voice cracking in unnaturally high pitches for a boy. After several moments, he calmed down a bit, closed his eyes and relaxed his head up against the bark of the tree behind him. A soft, gentle breeze passed by, ruffling the boy's disturbingly bright yellow, spiky hair. Several moments of silence passed with only the tree and the sky as his companion.

Suddenly, Naruto bolted upright. Several yells could be heard in the distance. Down the road, twelve or so men started to run towards his with purpose in their gait and anger in their eyes. Naruto quickly jumped to his feet and started to sprint away from the group that was slowly getting bigger and closer to him. Passing fruit and vegetable vendors, shacks and small shops, Naruto knew that he had entered the shopping district, possibly the most dangerous place for him to hide.

As he continued to dodge under tables covered in jewelry and spices, he saw that the road he was running on was quickly coming to an end. Hoping for the best, he threw himself underneath several white curtains covered in red kanji on their centers.

Seeing a row of chairs that would be tall enough so that his feet couldn't be seen from the crowd when they ran by, he quickly climbed to the top of a stool and hid his small head behind one of the nearby menus. Rows upon rows of indecipherable writing (in Naruto's eyes) covered the rather bland white pamphlets. Though he couldn't yet read what was written, he could see the pictures of the food. Delicious bowls of noodles and fishcake were filled to the brim and drowned in some type of broth.

Naruto began to drool; having not eaten a decent meal in over a month due to the unfair keepers of the orphanage that he lived in, even the pictures of the noodle dish looked good. He quickly ducked lower beneath the menu when he heard the sound of feet walking towards the counter. Hoping to avoid confrontation with another angry villager, he kept quiet and was seemingly invisible.

The footsteps stopped just in front of the stool Naruto was seated on. A pair of pale white hands appeared over the top of his menu and gently took it from his own small lightly tanned hands. Keeping his eyes pointed towards the ground, he flinched when he heard the girl, judging by the girlish gasp; take a small inhalation of breath.

Quickly deciding that he was not safe where he was, he tried to jump off the stool and run away, but the soft whisper of _wait_ echoed through his ears and he paused, just two feet from the curtain.

Turning around, he looked at the girl who stopped him and held back a gasp of his own. She looked to be around ten years old with pretty mouse brown hair and hazel eyes. Her small frame was decorated in a white apron and light, slightly casual, kimono. He rapidly averted his eyes back to the ground and whispered back in a defeated tone, "_yes?"_

"Welcome. My name is Ayame Ichiraku and this is Ichiraku's Ramen Shop. Would you like anything to munch on sweetie? The girl, Ayame, simply stared at him with a kind look and a smile on her face. There was no glare or sneer directed at him, so he looked back up with wide eyes and a gaping jaw. The girl began to giggle and quickly tried to compose herself to look more like a waitress. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

Quickly closing his mouth so as not to look foolish, Naruto calmed down a bit and timidly answered the girl's earlier question. "I—I don't have any money Ayame-sama." The girl looked startled at the strong honorific and quickly attempted to change that.

"Hey, no need to be so formal! How about you call me…Ayame nee-chan? Or Ayame-chan?" Naruto blinked a couple of times before gently nodding his head. "Okay! No that that is settled, how about some ramen kid? Oh, that's right; you haven't told me your name!" Before, when Ayame had first seen the little boy, she only saw his horrible complexion and thought he was some type of skeleton. She recognized him as the boy the villagers all seemed to hate except for a very select few, but she never heard his name. He was rather well known as the freak or monster boy.

Naruto gulped and then slowly murmured his name, fearful of the reaction he would receive. "I'm Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki." Silence prevailed throughout the small stand as the girl started to shake in what appeared to be fury.

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**Duh duh duh duh. Okay, this chapter is dedicated to ****rOsArIo VaMpIrE20098****, my buddy. She was the first one to post a review and also a good writer herself. I left this off on a cliffhanger on purpose, but I doubt any of you will wonder what the answer will be. As promised, I updated quickly, but I won't be updating for a while because finals are approaching way to quickly! Oh yeah, the poll is pretty open, but I want peoples opinions. My first choices are:**

Naruto/ Hinata (very unoriginal)

Naruto/ Kyuubi (female or male)

Naruto/ Shino (odd…)

Naruto/ Kiba (doubtful)

Naruto/ Ino (odd again…)

**Please tell me your own ideas and vote only once. This poll will be up for the next four or five chapters. **

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	3. Making New Friends

**Okay, this is the official second chapter of N.U: KOP. I am so proud of myself for trying to stick to a story! Sorry this took so long to update, but I have two essays that I need to finish soon and I'm a beta, so I don't have much time. This fic will be updated a bit faster after May 21****st****, but don't expect daily updates. At the bottom of this chapter is the pairing poll up to now. I sure didn't expect the leader when I added up the votes. In fact, I almost had a heart attack! Enjoy! This chapter is a bit longer than the previous because I felt I had to make it up to those of you who continue to stick with me. **

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Chapter Two: Making New Friends

The silence continued until Naruto once again tried to sneak away, though, like before, he was stopped, only this time, it was in a way he didn't expect. The girl's voice sounded through the small shop with a slight tremor. "Wait a second kid. Come here." Ayame waited until the child timidly and shakily walked up to her before gently laying her palm upon his small shoulder in an affectionate gesture. Naruto, whose head was still down, nearly jumped a mile when he felt a small tear land on his exposed, dirty arm. Looking up, he saw the young girl crying and trembling. Thinking he was the cause, Naruto tried to get out of her surprisingly strong grasp to no avail. She simply gripped him tighter and began speaking a mild tremulous voice. "N-Naruto huh? It's like the ramen god's named you themselves! You were destined to be here! Quickly! Take a seat and I'll give you a bowl of Ichiraku's tastiest miso! Don't worry about paying. It's on the house, but only for today!"

As the girl ran around the visible kitchenette, Naruto stared in wonder. He had never known such kindness in his short six years, but he was glad that there was at least one person in the village that didn't abuse him. He quickly tried to hide his head as he heard the tell-tale _swish_ of the curtain moving and a person entering the small shop. The man simply walked past him and behind the counter to join the girl in making the delicious smelling food.

Naruto glanced up from his folded arms in curiosity and observed the similarities between the man and the girl, Ayame. He had slightly lighter hair, nearly murky grey with squinted eyes and a firm, muscular build. He held a small, kind smile on his face as he laughed at his daughter's fierce face of concentration as she attempted to try and reach the frying baskets on the back burners of the old fashioned stove.

After several amusing attempts at trying to cook the noodles, the girl gave up and walked around the counter to strike up a friendly conversation with the depressing boy. "So, Naruto, why'd you run in here? I heard the guys that were running around outside. Did you do something mean to them?" Naruto lowered his eyes in an ashamed gesture. The only sound in the 'snack-shack' was the light crackling of boiling noodles and cooking fishcake.

"I didn't do anything mean to them. I think they hate me. I didn't want to get hurt so I hid in here." The whiskered boy was speaking so softly, it would be hard for anyone but an Inuzuka to hear him perfectly unless one was within hugging distance of the boy. Luckily, Ayame was. She quickly reached over and enveloped the whimpering boy in a sisterly hug. The loving scene that would have made a lesser person cry merely made the older man in the mini-kitchen smile sadly and continued to stir the noodles.

"Shh, shh, calm down now. Tell Ayame nee-chan what happened." Ayame smoothed small circles along the boy's spine to offer him some small form of comfort. He shuddered a few times before calming down enough to try and talk again.

"O-Okay, I'll tell you Ayame n-nee-chan." Thus begins Naruto's tale of woe.

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**Flashback no Jutsu:**

_Naruto quickly ran onto the dead lawn as the time continued to grow later. His small legs were pumping as fast as he could make them as he tried to break light speed and reach the entrance of the old building lying in front of him before the time reached 5:00. He panted as he finally reached the moldy wooden door with its rusty hinges. The decrepit old building was barely standing as the supports creaked in the light breeze. _

_Slowly raising his hand, Naruto was starting to shake as he realized that he was a bit late. The sundial sitting to the right of the door showed the time 5:05. Naruto knew that he was about to be punished. He raised his hand to the doorknob and twisted it, flinching at the grinding noise the door made as it swung open forebodingly. He began to tremble as he stepped though the door and his foot touched the rotting wooden floor with a disturbing crunch. Honestly, the place was a safety hazard and a half. Once inside the building, he quickly turned to the left and started to speed up his pace as he gained confidence. _

_As he reached the doors to the old cafeteria, he was unexpectedly stopped by a tall shadow that was undoubtedly attached to the menacing figure of the matron. As he turned his head around to meet the beady, black eyes of the biased man, he shook harder and it seemed as though he was about to go into cardiac arrest. His arms and legs were trembling like he had been running on circles for hours, and his eyes were wide with fear. The beautiful blue had faded into a dull gray as he continued to stare. The matron was indeed a terrifying figure with his large, muscled arms and legs and his wobbling belly fat. He was tall as well; Much taller that the short three and a half foot child._

_His voice was gravelly and rough as he started to speak to the child with hatred lacing his voice. "Well brat, where ya been? It's past five ain't it? That means no dinna for you. Get to your room you piece of crap!" Without bothering to answer, knowing it would only cause him more pain and a worse punishment, Naruto sprinted down the hall towards his room with purpose. _

_With only a few more feet until he reached his room, Naruto lightly screamed when four ten year old boys with butter knives and pieces of wood stepped up to him. He knew this was bound to happen. Even the matron would have known about the stolen knives (the orphanages tend to keep a sharp eye on any missing pointy objects, no?) and what they were intended to be used for. Naruto was scared as any child his age should have been. He couldn't speak, think, or even hear as the boys cackled and pushed him to the ground. He kept silent, unemotional, uncaring as the dull ends of the knife pierced through his already worn shirt. He never moved as the wood splintered onto his head and gripped his bare arms. He was, essentially, not even there. His body could feel the damage being force upon him, but his mind could not comprehend it. _

_Minutes passed as Naruto simply lay in non-response and as the boys punished his small body. When they had finished their fun, they spit on Naruto's body with wide grind threatening to split the edges of their faces. _

_A superior tone lit their voice as they began to talk and walk away. The leader stalled a moment a whispered a few words into the air towards Naruto's prone, bloody body. "Well, demon, maybe next time, we'll have mercy and slay you. Better run before we return." Laughing insanely, the boy sprinted ahead to catch up with his colleagues as Naruto struggled to crawl towards the door that seemed to grow further away with every labored pant and muscle spasm. _

_Finally, after many long minutes of physical excursion, he reached the door and pulled himself up using the stub of a doorknob. His room, the demons nest as villagers enjoyed calling it, was possibly the most horribly furnished room in Konoha. With only a mattress with many holes and one window, the closet sized room was pitiful. Wallpaper crinkled and peeled off the walls, the door hinges were rusty and even the window was crooked. _

_Naruto sat down on the corner of the mattress that was not rotting away and slowly let his most painful wounds rest and heal. Knowing that if he moved too much he wouldn't get any better, he controlled his baser instincts and began to consider ways to escape the hell he lived in. _

_Dealing with the hatred of the villagers day after day, feeling threatened in his own home! He had to leave this insanity. As the sun began to set, Naruto saw the shimmer of the pale yellow and burning orange glaring through the thin glass of the little crooked window. A window that was small enough that it would only fit a young child, a child of around Naruto's age. Naruto could escape. Hope seemed to shine through the swollen body of the young boy. _

_After several moments of listening for footsteps that could be coming down the hall, Naruto tiptoed to the window and slowly managed to wedge it open. With naught but a glance back, Naruto jumped out the small crooked window, and into the large, just as crooked world._

**Flashback no jutsu, kai!**

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"I kept running until it started to rain and I saw the tree with the sad branches. Some mean men started to chase me, so I ran in here because I saw the tall chairs that could hide my feet." Naruto finished his sad tale and the ramen cook and Ayame hastily tried to dry their tears. The young girl gripped the whiskered boy in another hug and the man behind the counter stepped towards the boy with a small bowl of piping hot noodles and cute little cakes on the top. Setting it gently on the side of the counter, he stretched forward to pat the boy on the shoulder and introduced himself.

"Hey kiddo, I'm Teuchi Ichiraku. I own this fine establishment and if you ever need a place to eat at or just to talk and hide from the biased people of the village, you're welcome in here anytime. Maybe once in a while, I'll give you a free bowl. Now, tuck in!" Naruto glanced at the bowl and slowly reached forwards to bring the bowl closer to him. When he saw the smiling faces of the Ichiraku family, he gained more confidence and asked the simple question that would launch a thousand more.

"Um, how do I eat it? Ayame giggled and Teuchi face faulted. A quick two minute lesson on how to use chopsticks followed and from that moment on, Naruto had gained two friends. People he could always count on and a place to escape the daily abuse of the villagers. Though he had to return to the orphanage every night, he faced the next morning with un-waning enthusiasm.

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**Okay, this is the end of the official chapter two! Duh duh duh! Fooled ya! I won't tell people the votes for the pairing so far, but I will add the characters that people have voted for along with the ones that I already had an idea for. Please remember that if you have already voted, not to vote again, but please leave a review. **

Naruto/ Hinata (very unoriginal)

Naruto/ Kyuubi (female or male)

Naruto/ Shino (odd…)

Naruto/ Kiba (doubtful)

Naruto/ Ino (odd again…)

Naruto/ Temari (an odd choice)

Naruto/ Yugito (do they even know each other?)

Naruto/ OC (… I have little to no imagination people)

Naruto/ Itachi (… Oh yeah, the guy who tries to kill him wants him. Nice…)


	4. Festival of Pain

**Okay people, I really have no excuse for my very long delay in updating this. I had very little inspiration and I now have a full time job so I don't have a ton of time to update this. I will try harder in the future, but don't expect weekly updates. I was going to make this chapter a bit longer (not very much though) for you guys so I hope you enjoy it. For the poll I have for the pairing, you have about three more chapters before I tell you who will win. Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters ad events used. Masashi Kishimoto does. Enjoy the chapter.**

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It had been about a month since that first visit, and Naruto continued to sneak out of the orphanage every morning and return every night. He felt safe in the caring, warm arms of the Ichiraku family. They treated him as if he was a part of their family. He was fed daily, they bought him a pair of shorts once, and they cleaned up the mess of bodily fluids and blood stains on his shirt. Surprisingly, they seemed not to notice the lack of scarring and bruising on his small, slightly malnourished body. Life seemed a bit more bearable with the prospect of seeing the Ichiraku's every afternoon on the young boy's mind, but a smile could be quickly turned into a frown at a moments notice.

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**October 10 **

The entire village of Konoha was bustling with activity. Shopkeepers were rushing about like chickens that had recently been decapitated and artisans were pushing to find a space on the sides of the long, narrow paths to set up their small stands that held items ranging from painted, ceramic pots, to the cool metal of newly made weaponry. Villagers were balancing precariously on tipsy ladders, trying their best to hang the beautiful, tissue paper lights and lanterns along the sides of their homes and even along the top of the revered Hokage Mountain. Tantalizing scents wafted through the air like a warm draft of air on a chilly autumn day. Sushi, yakisoba, dango, onigiri, sweet tea, hot green tea and even ramen collaborated to make a delicious mixture that would send even Kami on a joy ride. Through all the chaos, only one place managed to stay in a peaceful tranquility—Ichiraku Ramen.

"Hey, Ojii-san, one more miso please!" Six year old, Naruto Uzumaki bounced on his stool, ignorant to its protesting creaking. The ramen was right in front of him, being cooked in special oils and spices. Teuchi Ichiraku stood in front of the stove, carefully watching the half-cooked noodles spin intricate patterns in the heated, watery mixture, while his daughter, Ayame stood off the side rapidly chopping up bits of scallion, carrot and cabbage.

"Patience young grasshopper! Good food comes to those with empty stomachs and _usually_money. Honestly, I have no clue why I let you so much ramen without paying a single dime." That statement was false. Both parties knew the answer, but neither was willing to admit the truth.

"Argh! Fine old man, make me wait. If I die of starvation, it's your fault!" Naruto feign-passed out as he complained, causing the older cook to laugh with a grin on his face.

"Keep it up gaki, and you won't get fed for a week! It's almost done so hold your horses!" Teuchi had, unknowingly, hit a soft spot with his statement, not knowing that there had been several instances where Naruto had indeed, not been fed for a week. It was only his will to search for a higher meaning that had kept him from dying; that and the secret stash of power that rested in the young boys naval.

Naruto shook the painful memories off and began to watch as the "old man" lifted the basket of noodles and quickly poured a good majority of the broth into a small sink, steam rising as the hot water and spices hit the cool metal sides. Grabbing the special "Naruto bowl" from the cupboard above his head, he piled the noodles into the bowl and waited until the broth began to fall from the noodles, and fill the bowl about half-way. Waving Ayame away from her cutting board, Teuchi grabbed the bowl by the lip and quickly brought it over to the previously occupied counter space. As he slowly mixed the vegetables in with the noodles, he asked Ayame to take a pre-cut chunk of fishcake from its container. Taking a spoon from the drawer under the counter, the chef gave the soup a quick stir, tossed the fishcake on the top and placed the bowl in front of the "starving" child.

"Thanks old man! I needed this!" As the boy began to dig into his noodles with gusto, and as Ayame cleaned up the counters behind him, Teuchi remembered the boy from when he had first attended the ramen stand to where he was sitting at the moment.

As the days had progressed into weeks and eventually, one month, Naruto had begun to escape from his shell of solitude. Breaking out from the loneliness and giving only the Ichiraku family a look at the boy beneath the shy exterior, and into the happy, childish mind of a six, almost seven year old boy.

Though Naruto inexplicably trusted the Ichiraku family, he was hesitant to tell them about his yearly "birthday parties" that usually landed him in either the hospital or the corridor in between his room and the matron's office.

Naruto, throughout several years of annual abuse, had come to the conclusion that the beatings became more desperate and violent on the day of the Kyuubi festival, or, his birthday. A day that would be enjoyable and memorable to most people, became torture, and pain to him. He knew that he would have to be swift on his feet when he began his trek home- no, back to his living hell. He was treated with more respect among the other outcasts of the village who understood what being excluded from society was. Those with incurable diseases, the homeless, pitiful civilians made up most of the group, but there were a few who were ex-ninja. One of which would change his life forever.

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**30 Minutes Later**

After successfully polishing off four bowls of soup and breaking two stools from over-excitement, Naruto was finally ready to leave the ramen stand for the night, and head back to his room in the orphanage. "Well old man, Ayame Nee-chan, I'll see you tomorrow! Wash that bowl out for me 'cause you know I'll be filling it full of your magical noodles very soon!" With that final parting note, Naruto jumped from his third stool of the night, and ran out the curtain door into the night where villagers celebrated the death of a once feared demon.

Knowing that the villagers, and many of the older generation of ninja would not be in a forgiving mood, the blonde haired child decided it best to stick to the shadows and take longer route back to the orphanage rather than taking the shorter path and having a greater possibility of getting caught outside at night. He began to rush down alleyways and dodge around crates and boxes as he tried to make it back to his "home." He could hear the complicated music pieces being played and the cheerful laughter of children as they played games and tasted the deliciou food being sold.

As he neared his destination, and was within several yards of reaching the walkway to the large, shabby old building, Naruto was severely startled when he heard a group of people behind him shouting obscenities and holding an assortment of terrifying objects from sticks and rocks to metal poles and gardening spades.

To terrified to move, to scared to scream, Naruto did the only thing a child faced with the situation would do—he shook and cried. Tears poured down his faced as he backed himself up against the wall of the closest building desperately searching for something to hide in. He found nothing.

The crowd was upon him in a second; circling him as best they could, preventing him from finding any escape. Seven civilians and what appeared to be four chunin made up the group of wannabe "demon slayers." The members of the group that were villagers stepped forward, brandishing their weapons and giving the cornered boy a collection of cynical smirks. One of them, who seemed to be the leader, lifted his baseball bat and brought it down in a crushing blow over Naruto's right shoulder. As the boy fell to the ground screaming, the same man who did the damage spoke up, loud enough to be heard over the shrieks of agony.

"You see you little freak, you shouldn't be mad at us. We're only doing what should have been done seven years ago! The Third should have never have allowed you to live. You should have been executed that very night! Die you damn demon!" A chorus of _YES_ immediately followed the man's statements from the other members of the group and after a moments silence; the night erupted in a series of cries of pain, torture and pure suffering.

Naruto had given up on crying and quickly shut his mind down, hoping to find a way to block out the pain. Even if his mind did not process the pain, his eyes could still see and his body would memorize the beating it went through. He saw the civilians in the front row throwing rocks with such force that they would instantly cause bruising on his small, fragile body. Long, metal pipes were swung down with gravity helping to put more pressure on his delicate bones, most of them breaking the second the pipes connected. The wood put long, thick splinters in his skin, leaving behind welts and blood lines.

When the villagers were done giving their punishment, they stepped back and walked away, leaving the ninja to finish up cleaning out the trash. They didn't even give the boy a moment to cough up the blood that had accumulated in his mouth from his internal organs being brutally crushed. They tossed shuriken and kunai with such accuracy that they hit the same places that the civilians had already left their mark on. Many of the ninja decided that he would make a very good target to practice their kenjutsu skills on. For the few ninja that use a katana or a kodachi, using their poorly developed skills, they cut long shallow trenches through the boy's skin. The few that knew proper taijutsu used their bare fists to leave swells and more bruises on the fox-like boy. When the chunin decided that they were done using taijutsu and kenjutsu, they moved on to ninjutsu.

One of the ninja back up several feet and began flipping through hand signs with rookie average chunin speed, building up his chakra with killer intent leaking from every pore in his body. Ending the chain with _tiger_, the chunin let out a small stream of fire that transformed into a great ball of heat and flames that was on a direct course for the prone child's body.

Naruto closed his eyes and allowed himself one last smile. As he saw small flashes of his few happy times, most of which occurred at the Ichiraku ramen stand, he thought about what life could have been if he had simply asked for help and stopped putting up with the villagers crap. _If I live through this, _Naruto whispered to himself,_ I will get my revenge. I will get stronger and I will show them who I am. _

As he began to feel the heat from the fireball grow closer, as the darkness began to take over and close his mind off from his body and lull him into unconsciousness, the heat from the flames suddenly vanished and Naruto was lifted from the ground and into a pair of warm arms. Using his every last bit of strength, Naruto cracked his eyes once more and caught a peak of his rescuer; a man in armor with the snarling mask of a wolf. A single thought passed through Naruto's mind before he blacked out, _Arigatou Ookami-san._

* * *

Of the many people in the village who heard those screams, of the many people who walked past the beating and continued walking without a pausing, and of the many people who would walk over and join in the beatings with bare fists and scraps of wood, only one would remember that night and the faces of his abusers. His name was Naruto Uzumaki, Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Youko and the future King of Pranks.

* * *

**Okay, here's the poll again. If you've voted before, please don't vote again. If you haven't reviewed, please review. I enjoy reading peoples opinions. **

Naruto/ Hinata

Naruto/ Kyuubi (Male or Female)

Naruto/ Shino

Naruto/ Kiba

Naruto/ Ino

Naruto/ Temari

Naruto/ Yugito

Naruto/ OC

Naruto/ Itachi


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Dear readers,

I apologize for my massively long break from updating anything. I have not given up, and I will never give up a story. Life has been difficult, and I have simply been uninspired. However, I have a new chapter in the works. It will be finished sometime soon. Who knows, maybe it will be complete before New Years. What I need from my faithful readers (whom I love) is inspiration. I am about to write the first prank, but I need ideas.

I won't reveal much about the chapter, but here's my goal—to humiliate, agonize (boarder-line torture), and possibly embarrass the Hyuuga Clan. Keep in mind that the Cloud fiasco has already occurred, but the main branch is still pretty nervous. If anyone could sen me ideas in either a review or a PM, I will update ninja-fast. If anyone wants to send me ideas for the future, I will definitely consider them. On another note, I need a beta. I am aware that my grammar sucks, and that my plot development is a little...lacking. The pairing poll is going well, but just to warn everyone, it looks like it will be slash. To appease my anti-slash readers, I won't be adding anything overly romantic. In fact, I won't go much further than a kiss or two (mostly because I'm not comfortable writing anything very romantic.

Here's the poll thus far: (It's up to my readers to vote to their hearts content. I will be adding a poll to my author's page so you can vote there, and on my story)

Temari: 2

Yugito: 1

Shino: 9

Hinata: 2

Male!Kyuubi: 4

Female!Kyuubi: 4

Itachi: 11

Sakura: 2

Ino: 1

Keep in mind, that just because your favorite pairing might not be listed, I will still consider it an option and add it to the list. I am open to any pairing EXCEPT NARUTO/SASUKE. At the end of the pairing votes, I will make my decision as to whether or not it will be slash. No matter what the poll pairing turns out to be, Ino will be included as a sibling (which I love the thought of). Doc4 is a kind-hearted reviewer who has given me much inspiration in the past.

Once again, I apologize for the long wait, but now is your chance. If you want me to update, send me reviews. Anyone that I did not thank for their reviews, I apologize—I probably didn't get them. My computer is PMS'ing...again.

~BlackRoseOfTheGrave


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